Can a gay men ever be like "One of Your Girls?"

Below is an essay that I wrote for my English 1102 class during my freshman year. The essay is an analysis of Troye Sivan’s song “One of Your Girls” from his third studio album, Something To Give Each Other. It explores the very nature of queer identity, which is central to the song. I made some minor adjustments, but the flow and structure are still a little wonky. I enjoy all the points I make, so I hope you do too.

Can a gay man ever be like “One of Your Girls?”

            Troye Sivan’s third studio album, Something To Give Each Other, takes a more mature and developed route to explore ‘adult’ queerness. We see that the tracks are serious and explore the problems and emotions of queerness in a deeper and more mature way than his prior works. The pop tracks on Something to Give Each Other tend to cover more serious ideas- namely the experimentation and sex culture that is central to queer culture- and this contrasts the upbeat sound and ‘head bopping’ beat of many of the tracks. Namely in the track,“One of Your Girls,” Sivan explores queer experimentation, its limits, and the emotional toll it takes on the one being ‘experimented’ on. In the song, Sivan creates a ‘straight’ male character to project the emptiness and vulnerability of the relationship onto.

            The emotional focus of “One of Your Girls” juxtaposes the upbeat nature of pop; it's slower and uses the electronic focus of the genre to convey Sivan's emotions in the situation. Queer pop is a subgenre of the larger pop music scene known for exploring queer life and engaging with the aesthetics of queer living, as well as the problems that come with it (Papenburg 1). This is exactly what we see in Sivan's “One of Your Girls.” Sivan is detailing his experiences as a queer man navigating a culture that continues to show contempt for his existence, despite surface-level progress. Contrasting this is the parallel experience of the idealized ‘straight’ guy who often participates in a conservative culture. Despite these hurdles that the ‘straight’ guy faces in relation to his acceptance and expression, we see that the adverse effect on Sivan is loneliness and emptiness caused by the ‘straight’ guy’s inability to be emotionally available (Factora). Sivan says that he feels as though his willingness to build relationships with these kinds of men stems from “internalized homophobia”- a feeling that occurs when a queer person adopts society’s negative perception, intolerance, and stigma and turns it towards themself. Sivan also says that there is a sort of bliss that comes from someone who might have bullied you or looked down on you, pursuing you in some way, but who will inevitably no longer want you, leaving you with a pressing sense of emptiness and raw vulnerability.

            The ‘straight’ man at the center of the story is meant to represent the feelings many queer people have- life would be easier if they could hide their identities. Before the Cold War, the concept of a “heterosexual” person was not a monolithic idea, but during and after the Lavendar Scare, “both men and women were [are are] compelled to display perfect gender conformity in their mannerisms, appearance, and institutional position” (Romesburg, Littauer 70). We find that this same idea has continued to plague our culture, despite entering what many consider a new progressive era. By concealing their identity, a ‘straight-passing’ queer person abuses their proximity to heteronormativity and benefits from a system that seeks to put down their queer brethren. What Sivan is presenting is a man has no reason to present himself as queer because he can garner both the support of women in sexual relationships, despite not feeling romantically attracted to them, and queer men willingly to engage in discrete relationships with him. In all, the story of the ‘straight’ guy is one against queer suppression. No matter how the ‘straight’ man feels towards Sivan, he will never be open about who he is, and in all, “One of Your Girls” warns young queer men of these relationships.

Queer slang and numerous pop culture references are employed throughout “One of Your Girls” to demonstrate Sivan’s emotions and the beauty he sees in the ‘straight’ guy. “You should trademark your face” and “[f]ace card, no cash, no credit” are both lines that present the beauty of the ‘straight’ guy as extreme and put the ‘straight’ guy out of reach for Sivan (Sivan 0:14, 00:31). Sivan saying that the ‘straight’ guy should “trademark [his] face” is really telling him that he should not let others imitate his beauty, because anyone else would just be a cheap knockoff. A “face card” refers to someone’s objective beauty, and one that requires “no cash [or] no credit” is one that is so stunning that it would be accepted as payment and is also universally accepted (Sivan 00:31). Sivan continues to say that the ‘straight’ guy could “skip the application [and] interview” (Sivan 00:42). Essentially saying this man is so lusted after and desired that he could be fast tracked to wherever he pleases. Driving home this point that a beautiful, straight man is at the top of society, and the queer individual, no matter how attractive, will be seen as lower. (We see this perfectly in how women respond to finding out that a popular actor or similar is gay. Take, for example, Jonathan Bailey, Matt Bomer, or even Troye Sivan. Women often leave comments under videos that are in the same vein as “what did men do to deserve him.”)[CJ14]  But a man so far above the rest and so beautiful must be reserved for women only. Sivan admits that “[e]verybody wants you, baby,” but “nobody wants you as bad as I do” (Sivan 01:23, 01:32). He is willing to keep pining even though he knows that what he truly desires is impossible. How can a gay man possibly compete for the attention of a ‘straight’ guy in a heteronormative society?

            In the “One of Your Girls” music video, Sivan casts a variety of men in the role of the ‘straight’ guy and tries to present this guy as one who is conventionally attractive. The titular role of the music video is played by Ross Lynch (known for his role as Austin in Austin & Ally on Disney Channel). Lynch is very detached and ‘nonchalant,’ appearing to be unaware of the sexuality displayed in the choreography. This directly reflects Sivan’s true experience with this type of man in relationships. He wants Sivan and is willing to hookup discreetly, but he refuses to acknowledge the attraction he feels for Sivan, or broadly, queer men in general. Further exemplifying this point is the live concert choreography, which is much more intimate and sexual, and portrays the idea of a relationship filled with lust and desire coupled with stints of detachment.

            Sivan’s only desire, to “be like one of your girls,” is the title and main sentiment of the song (Sivan 01:17). He knows that his man will never want him back, but he continues to wish for a deeper connection. He knows that this man has the “key to [his] heart,” but that their relationship can never be made public (Sivan 02:19). Despite the negative impact this relationship will have on his life, he clings to it, refusing to let it go. He is willing to “keep it a secret” in exchange for the ‘straight’ guy’s attention (Sivan 2:15). Sivan wishes that the ‘straight’ guy will “give [him] a call if [he] ever gets lonely,” and he doesn’t really care if their meetup involves a hookup-being like “one of your girls”- or just a hangout-being like one of “your homies” (Sivan 00:52, 00:57). Later he alters the lyric, saying “[g]ive me a call if you ever get desperate/I’ll be like one of your girls” (Sivan 1:12). He knows that the ‘straight’ guy will only every reach out if he is desperate for sex, and a fact, that despite its emotional toll, he will accept, just so that there is a relationship. Even if this relationship is to stand in as ‘one of his girls.’

Drag is a performance art employed by queer men and women that involves crossdressing, and scholars of queer history view these performances as ironic representations of the other gender. The word that is often used to describe drag is “camp” – associated with “artistic sensibility, satire and mockery, theatricality, artifice, ironic respectability, skepticism, insistent uncertainty, fantasy, and the suspension of belief and disbelief” (Romesburg, Littauer 74). In the “One of Your Girls” music video, Sivan dresses in drag, not in a conventional camp performance, but in a more serious crossdressing: he transforms himself into a woman. This is an act for the ‘straight’ guy, even if this doesn’t reflect his truth. Sivan says a key detail for the song was his willingness to change “[his] values or [his] self-worth to bend to be this thing that [the ‘straight’ guy] might want.” (Factora) Realistically, “this thing” is a hookup, but in the music video, “this thing” is a woman. Sivan knows the only way to be desired is to destroy who he is and recreate himself in the gaze of the straight man. The drag is a representation of the destruction of the masculine side of Sivan and the birth of the explicitly feminine side, something that the ‘straight’ guy will hopefully want.

            By the end of the song, Sivan has adopted a slower, somber sound, reflecting how his feelings about the situation have changed from acceptance to a conscious understanding that a relationship that belittles him cannot turn out well. “One of Your Girls” receives praise and love from lots of queer men who have a similar experience. We see how the shared experiences can bring groups together, but it is through the pop genre, one whose fan base has a strong queer presence, that this message is delivered. In this case, queer pop serves as a medium through which Sivan can explore the harsh realities of queer life and express his emotions to an audience that understands him and his struggles.

WORK CITED

“One of Your Girls.” Something to Give Each Other, Capitol Records: EMI.

Papenburg, Bettina and Dreckmann, Kathrin. "Introducing Queer Pop". Queer Pop: Aesthetic Interventions in Contemporary Culture, edited by Bettina Papenburg and Kathrin Dreckmann, Berlin, Boston: De Gruyter, 2024, pp. 1-22. https://doi.org/10.1515/9783111013435-001

Factora, James. “Troye Sivan’s ‘One of Your Girls’ Was Inspired by Sleeping with Questioning Guys.” Them, Them., 13 Oct. 2023, www.them.us/story/troye-sivan-one-of-your-girls-inspiration

Romesburg, Don. The Routledge History of Queer America. Routledge, Taylor & Francis Group, 2019.

 [CJ14]I want to add this in because I think it adds a good example that backs up the point of an attractive queer person being viewed as being underneath an attractive straight person, but I feel like it derails the flow.