Search Results

For a long time, “fitness” meant being as skinny as possible and appealing to the extreme standard of beauty presented to me by social media and influencers. A standard of beauty that, despite being so normalized, is entirely unrealistic. In my efforts to achieve perfection, working out became a form of self-punishment for not meeting my ideal body standards. I was always left feeling worse than when I started. I was sore, tired, and sweaty, and there was no visible change to tie my self-worth to. I was disappointed by the lack of results I hadn’t worked for yet. Never giving my body the chance to recover and develop before writing it off as a failure. This lack of instant gratification left me sorely disappointed and wallowing in self-pity each time. This is the ugly truth for lots of teenage girls growing up in the age of social media and global trends. As many people will tell you, the gym isn’t a one-time thing. You have to be consistent, and you have to care to get results you are going to be proud of. This was something I failed to take to heart despite understanding the science perfectly. I simply wanted to look as “hot and sexy” as possible, as fast as I could. Another negative side-effect of social media exposure at a young age, worrying about my looks instead of worrying about school in the morning.  I had an extremely unhealthy mindset. I wouldn’t work out for weeks, then cry and cry about how I hated my lack of commitment and inability to push myself. To counteract this, I’d wake up early the next day and go to the gym for hours, altering my schedule to fit around the gym, rather than the gym fitting around my schedule.  My fitness and health have been something I’ve concerned myself with since middle school; however, I made that first serious step in January 2025. If I’m being entirely truthful, I was never unhealthy. I was an active child and teenager, attending dance rehearsals that would give me 2-3 hours of cardio a day. Eating 3 meals a day and drinking water. But my negative self-image made everything in the mirror look distorted and fake. I was a general high school student, overworked and tired. I had a body curated by my day-to-day life, a body that served my needs efficiently, yet I hated it.  Disliking my body didn’t mean constantly hating how I looked. There were days when I believed I was beautiful and loved my body and what it provided me, what it allowed me to do. But there were an equal number of days when a crippling sense of self-doubt would occupy my mind and I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. Reassuring myself was impossible because I knew that I wasn’t doing everything I should to take care of myself. These past few months, I’ve been on a journey of extreme self-discovery. What I know now is that it’s extremely harmful to put these levels of expectations on yourself. I don’t believe in the “you’re your own harshest critic” spoof. If anything, we should be our own biggest supporters. A healthy lifestyle starts from within. In high school, I wasn’t making these trips to the gym to create a healthier version of myself; I believed I needed to be punished. That I was fat, ugly, and undesirable. And I desperately wanted to change that. Yet I didn’t know how.  Truthfully, it was my best friend Chloe who changed my mindset. Listening to my thoughtless ramblings, she didn’t tell me I was just insecure or in my head; instead, she showed me how to be better. She didn’t agree with what I was saying about myself; however, she knew she wouldn’t be able to change my mind. Rather, she gave me the tools to make the change I so desperately craved.  Armed with this newfound knowledge and an exercise app, I stepped foot in the gym with achievable goals and a sense of contentment that I was making a step in the right direction. I was actively deciding to change and put myself and my health first. That if I wanted to feel good in my skin, I was the only one who could make that happen.  In January, I signed up for a Planet Fitness membership. Over the years, I’d take part in their free summer memberships for teenagers, meaning I went 3 times in the first week and never again. But this time was going to be different because I was determined to help myself be the best version of me. A version of me who always put her best foot forward.  My first step was truthfully looking at how often I could commit to the gym. Not idealizing my schedule or sacrificing sleep or meals. As a college student with an active internship, classes, and rehearsals, time was scarce. I knew that, realistically, the gym would only be a viable option for me 2-3 times a week. A slow start, sure, but a manageable goal that I could meet. So that’s what I did. 2-3 times during the week, usually every other day, I’d be in the gym working on strength training. My goal was not to lose weight, but rather to gain muscle while burning fat. While those may seem similar, they mean very different things. It was the difference between changing myself for others versus changing myself for me.  I also vowed not to stop eating. A body that is not fueled properly cannot function properly. I didn’t want to diet; I wasn’t eating an unhealthy amount of calories to begin with. I didn’t want to change what I was eating; I just wanted to make sure that I was supporting my diet with exercise and movement. However, I have noticed myself naturally opting for healthier options. In the dining hall, craving a salad rather than ketchup and fries. These choices allow me to feel good, as I’m not just eating empty calories. This isn’t to say I don’t have my fair share of dessert, but I find myself being more conscious of my choices.  Continuing this pattern, eating regularly and working out regularly. I have begun to notice results. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to just quit on this journey. The vision of health and wellness does not go away just because I see a change in the mirror; it will stay with me for the rest of my life. Which is exciting! I am so happy to be taking care of my body, and I am so proud that I stuck with my goals and worked hard to achieve them.  I have lots more work to do, and I still get shy when attempting new machines, opting to do an “at-home” workout with dumbbells despite physically being at the gym. Progress isn’t linear, and there will always be more to learn, but there is progress. For the first time in my life, I can confidently tell myself that I’m doing my best and mean it.

Welcome to Izzy, In Theory! I’m Izzy, and this is my humble corner of the internet—a blog where I can share my thoughts, feelings, and ideas.  I wanted an online space where I could be myself, without the pressures of social media. I’m not trying to influence anyone, nor am I trying to convince you that I’m right about, well, anything. I simply want to share my stories as I gain new experiences and journey through life.  Clayton, one of my closest friends and my roommate, joins me here! He offers music commentary and analysis on his column, Clayton’s Corner!  We’re so excited for you to get to know us and to get to know all of you in turn! Enjoy! Izzy and Clayton